Software Humour

An ambitious Software Engineer finally decided
to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean
cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life.
At least for a while.

A hurricane came up unexpectedly. The ship went
down and was lost instantly. The man found himself
swept up on the shores of an island with no other people,
no supplies, nothing. Only bananas and coconuts.
Used to four-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do.
So, for the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut
juice, longed for his old life, and fixed his gaze on the sea,
hoping to spot a rescue ship.

One day, as he was lying on the beach, he spotted
movement out of the corner of his eye. It was a rowboat,
and in it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen.
She rowed up to him. In disbelief, he asked her,
"Where did you come from, and how did you get here?"

"I rowed from the other side of the island," she said.
"I landed here when my cruise ship sank."

"Amazing," the Software Engineer said, "I didn't know
anyone else had survived. How many of you are there?
You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you."

"It's only me," she said, "and the rowboat didn't wash up,
nothing did."

He was confused, "Then how did you get the rowboat?"

"Oh, simple," replied the woman. "I made it out of raw
material that I found on the island. The oars were whittled
from gum-tree branches, I wove the bottom from palm
branches, and the sides and stern came from a eucalyptus
tree."

"But, but, that's impossible, "stuttered the man. "You had no
tools or hardware - how did you manage?"

"Oh, that was no problem," the woman said. "On the south
side of the island, there is a very unusual strata of exposed
alluvial rock. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature,
it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that to make tools,
and used the tools to make the hardware. But enough of that...
where do you live?"

Sheepishly, the man confessed that he had been sleeping on
the beach the whole time.

"Well, let's row over to my place then," she said.

After a few minutes of rowing, she docked the boat at a
small wharf. As the man looked onto shore, he nearly fell out
of the boat. Before him was a stone walk leading to an
exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the
woman tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp
rope, the man could only stare ahead, dumbstruck.

As they walked into the house, she said casually, "It's not
much, but I call it home. Sit down, please. Would you like to
have a drink?"

"No, no, thank you," he said, still dazed. "I couldn't drink
another drop of coconut juice."

"It's not coconut juice," the woman replied. "I have made a still,
how about a Pina Colada?"

Trying to hide his continued amazement, the Software Engineer
accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk.

After they had exchanged their stories, the woman announced,
"I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you
like to have a shower and a shave? There is a razor upstairs in
the bathroom cabinet."

No longer questioning anything, the man went into the bathroom.
There in the cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle.
Two shells honed to a hollow-ground edge were fastened
to its tip, inside a swivel mechanism.

"This woman is absolutely amazing," he mused. "What next?"

When he returned, the woman greeted him. She beckoned for
him to sit down next to her.

"Tell me," she began suggestively, slithering closer to him,
brushing her leg against his, "We've both been out here for a very
long time. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you
really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing
to do for all of these months."

She stared into his eyes. He couldn't believe what he was hearing -
this was like all of his dreams coming true in one day...

"You mean..." he replied, "I can check my e-mail from here?"

( Thanks, Manny ! )